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Archive for the ‘Grandma Hardcore’ Category

Final Fantasy XIII has been the focus of Grandma’s anticipation since 2006. Whenever a game she played didn’t quite pass muster or when a giant hole of suck formed on a new releases calendar, she would wonder, out loud, to nobody in particular: "I wonder when Thirteen is coming out."She said this so much that FFXIII became the Undying Lands to Grandma’s Middle-earth, spilling into conversations
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I want you to picture yourself at a department store.You’re slightly depressed. You figure a little shopping therapy will do you some good; blow a little money on yourself as a distraction from whatever is pissing you off. You picked out a shirt you kind of like and you’re standing in line at the register.The person in front of you is chatting with the sales clerk. "Do you think this top is
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On February 1st, 1936, Grandma probably wasn’t thinking about Final Fantasy XIII. She wasn’t anticipating BioShock 2 or Mass Effect 2. She wasn’t arguing the benefits of published strategy guides versus GameFAQs. Nor was she pondering Roosevelt’s economic theory, now that I think about it.Because she couldn’t talk yet.After Dead Space, Grandma was solid into Modern Warfare 2 for awhile.
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A couple things about this one: first, it’s dark. This is how Grandma insists on playing it (she was the same way about the Fatal Frame series). Second: I noticed she’s sporting the Left 4 Dead 2 shirt she scored from PAX Try as I might to get her to use the saw in a more, say.. practical manner, she gets by just shooting the holy hell out of everything until she has nothing left in her
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In yet another puzzling roadblock for Grandma’s quest to answer "Who the fuck am I?", Ian Milham, art director of Dead Space, sent Grandma a very special Halloween present.And the fantastic depiction of Grandma wielding a 211-V Plasma Cutter was only the beginning.Ian assures Grandma that her apparent love of survival horror games is not at all complete without the addition of Dead Space. Sure,
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I’d say never so much before has a game made Grandma squeal with joy whilst simultaneously pissing her off, but you know that’s not true. That describes pretty much every goddamn game she likes.She absolutely adored it.Brutal Legend is not an easy game. Usually if a game seems relatively impossible, Grandma will lower down the difficulty, play until she gets the hang of things and slowly
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Grandma has been enjoying the hell out of Beatles Rock Band on her PS3. We’re poor, so she bought one of those value-deal type thingies where it came with the original Rock Band instruments instead of the cool new Beatles instruments. And that’s okay. We already had the original Rock Band for the kids’ PS2, and the instruments are the same, so now we have two of everything, which is enough
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Our plane just landed back in Cleveland a little while ago.Businessmen and tourists have the luxury of West to East jet-lag that allows them the magical feeling of being in the future when they get home. We were not afforded such pleasures. The last five days were so solidly packed with awesome that the artificial systems of time imposed upon the rest of the world no longer hold meaning to
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It’s about 2:00am EST and we’re about to leave for the airport. Grandma is ridiculously excited for this trip. Excited, and perhaps a bit nervous. PAX has sold out. We got our pre-reg packet in the mail as promised so we’re good, but it’s going to be a hell of a lot of people this year it seems. That’s not the problem- the more the merrier of course; Long Live Penny Arcade! But I
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Grandma’s life is finally resembling something others call "normal." She has completed cardiac therapy, which is another way of saying Medicare won’t pay for it anymore. They gave her a certificate reminiscent of the "Pleasure to have in class" awards teachers give to elementary school students which we threatened to hang on the refrigerator. "You hang that shit up there and I swear to god
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